Dear Daughter, Here’s What Really Matters In Kindergarten

Dear Daughter, 

As kindergarten starts, I want to remind you of a few things: 

1. Be kind, not mean.  

Kindness will allow you to see the hearts of those around you.

2. Don’t follow your friends (at least not all the time).  

Lead by example, do the right thing. Learn what’s right and wrong. If you see that a boy or a girl that is being made fun of, be the one that protects them. If you see that a classmate is not listening to the teacher, help them listen. 

3. Embrace the differences in those around you!  

Know that all of us want to be loved and accepted. If you see a child who needs help, ask them how you can help, don’t make fun of or laugh at them. 

4. If you see a child sitting by themselves, sit with them.  

Ask them questions, get to know them and become their friend.

5. Respect your teacher.  

Teachers are very important to your growth and development. Many teach out of love and passion, so be supportive. They are just as important as mom and dad.  Take the spark they give you and ignite your heart!

6. Be yourself.

You are kind, confident, beautiful, silly, funny and smart beyond your years. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Be you. Kids will either love you or hate you.  Have a core group of friends. Don’t worry about what other kids think of you ― you are enough!

7. Never stop learning or asking questions.

Reading and writing will allow you to explore the world around you and beyond. You are still learning to do all these things, so seek new experiences.

8. Know that you will make mistakes, and that’s OK.  

Don’t cry when you mess up.  Do your best to fix the problem, and move on. Keep trying your best and you’ll eventually get it. 

9. Know we are on this journey together!

I love you, now go rock kindergarten! 

Love, 

Mom 

No Need to Raise Your Voice: How to Get Your Children to Listen...and Do

I reached my limit last week, my kids were out of control! I needed to do something fast and effective to get them to listen and follow directions. So I decided to invest about $80 into the solution. I purchased nearly 100 little toys for my son and daughter. I bought various items like My Little Pony characters, Mini Lego people, play necklaces, rings, washable tattoos, and mini-fire trucks. After compiling my cache of toys, I created a list of common chores that my kids are responsible for throughout the day. I also had them come up with two chores that they could add to the list. Together, we wrote, shared, and agreed to this contract:

Family Chore Contract

-First time listening (following an instruction 5 seconds after it was given)

-Talking like a big kid and not whining

-Doing what I am told without asking “why”

-Eating all my food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner without complaining

-Keeping the playroom clean and organized

-Keeping my room clean and organized

-Helping mom or dad when they need help

-Doing my homework

-Going to bed on time AND staying in my room

*All of these things will be checked off at the end of the day, if I can do all of this, then I will get to pick out ONE toy or item the following morning.

I agree to these terms:

——————————————————————
(Mom)

——————————————————————
(Dad)

——————————————————————
(Child)

——————————————————————
(Child)

Yes, my kids will get a toy everyday (we will stretch this out to a star system in the next two months, but for less than a $1 a day I get piece of mind and retain my sanity as a parent!

Like me on Facebook: Sri Parent Coach LLC

More on picky eating

http://teampbs.com/Articles/9.pdf

How to get picky eaters to eat: A step by step guide to make meal time more enjoyable for everyone

Food is everywhere and we want our kids to make healthy choices, think about these steps as you introduce food to your child. 

Step 1: Think  about what food you are eating on a daily bases. Do you eat the same things everyday? Kids learn by example so if we as parents only eat chicken, rice and beans, chances are your kids will do the same thing. If you are sticking to the same things, try to add one new food to your to routine. The more variety of food your child sees you eat, the more likely he/she will do the same.  

Step Two: Make an effort to cook put "adult" food on your child's plate. Do this for every meal. Research says that a person needs to see something 30 times before they try it. If you have a picky eater this could take up to 40 or 50 times. Keep putting the food on the plate, don't ask your child to do anything with it, just leave it on the plate. 

If you have separated plates this works well. 

Step three: a month off showing your child the same food, have them touch the new food. They just need to touch it for a second. Then they can eat the rest of their meal.

Step four: After two weeks of touching the new food have your child touch and kiss the food. Kissing the food, simply means putting the food on your child's lip. 

Step five: two weeks after that, have your child touch, kiss, and lick the food. 

Step six: Wait another two weeks and have your child touch, kiss, lick and take a small bite. The small can be called a baby bite, a fish bite... Be creative. Do this for two weeks.

Step seven: Finally have your child touch, kiss, lick, take a small bite and then a big bite. 

It will take a long to have your picky eater try something new, but try it this method, if you need help let me know.

Enjoy your new adventure. 

12 Things I Want My Daughter To Know Before She Graduates From High School (From An Entrepreneurial Mom)

1. Never think you are better than anyone, you’re not. Everyone has an innate value, some people try harder than others, but never think your above anyone.  Be kind to everyone you meet, every person has something to offer the world!

2. Know your strengths and explore your weaknesses. Adapt and convert your weaknesses into your strengths.

 3. Study your butt off, pick a field that you love and master it. Learn everything you can about it. Never stop learning; add to the overall human understanding of your field.   Your passion for whatever you choose will push you through the hard times. There will be times where you want to give up, but you'll find the passion and fire inside of you to keep going.

4. Never think you need a significant other to take care of you. You are smart, funny, beautiful, and fully capable of ANYTHING you want.

5. Set goals and seek multiple paths of achievement. Make your goals unthinkable...you will achieve it with the right attitude. Your mindset will lead the way.

 6. Start a business (big or small).  Being an entrepreneur will keep your passions alive. You don't need to be a full-time entrepreneur, just immersed long enough to experience the ups-and-downs of being your own boss.  It is an unbelievable frightening and fleeting at the same time. Being an entrepreneur will keep you grounded and grateful for everything you have.

7.Learn how to manage your time, money, and emotional capital.  Get good at prioritizing both the big and small ventures of your life.  Unlimited wants against limited resources; make decisions.

8. Make mistakes…again, and again; 

stay in the fight. I love you, but I can’t always be there to save you even though I'd do anything so you don't feel pain, you won't learn that way. Failure is part of success.

9. Know that you are loved no matter what. You'll always have a home and place to go if live throws you curve balls (which it will).

10. Love your family; we need you. Love your family and friends the way you want to be loved (I am stilling learning this, so please know there’s always room to grow).

11. Don't get married until you and your partner can communicate effectively, this is a work in progress for everyone, but it will make your marriage better.

12. Work hard and find a career that brings you to life, not one that sucks the life out of you! If that job doesn't exist…create it!

I love you my baby girl! Make BIG things happen for yourself! 

Like me on Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/Sri.parent.coach/

How to Be a Friend

Friends form a big part of our lives. They are the ones with whom we share our ups and downs; our most joyous successes and most unforgettable pains. Without friends, life wouldn’t be the same at all.  So for all the things our friends do for us, do we ever stop to consider how to actually be a friend (to others)?  Here are a few key points to consider.

Active Listening:  Listening is so important, do not underestimate its power.  The best way to be in the position to listen is through empathy.  Try to understand the situation from your friends’ point of view.  If you aim to do this, you’ll naturally find yourself beginning to ask the right sort of questions.  They will appreciate having someone who really cares about how they feel and what they’re going through. You don’t have to have all the answers, and you shouldn’t assume your friend wants advice – they might just want to talk (so that they can work out what they’re going to do themselves).

Ask Them What They Need:  If you’re worried about your friend and you want to be there for them; openly ask them what they need.   That way you know what they find helpful during tough times, and you can be there in a way that’s most useful to them.   

Be the Friend You Wish You Had:  Beatles have said, “I get by with a little help from my friends” Learn to be the kind of person your friends turn to when all else is lost or when their heart has been broken or when life just sucks. You don’t have to fix their problems, sometimes you can just listen and be there.

Keep in Touch: Face-to-face allows you the most complete experience.  However, even if you guys aren’t nearby each other, making an effort to keep in touch through Facebook, emails, texts and calls will show your friend you are there for them (share the off experiences too). 

Friendships are a Two-Way Street: You have to do your part so that your friend can do theirs.  It must be mutually beneficial.  The experience of being a friend may feel one-sided from time, and there may be long gaps between meetings, but over the lifespan of the friendship, the “work” of the relationship must be balanced.  If one of you is not dependable and there, the friendship can’t run smoothly.

Tell Them How You Feel: You don’t have to make a big deal of it all the time, but sometimes there are moments where letting someone know they’re important, can make a big difference to how someone is feeling.  Making your friend feel relevant, share with them in the important times, and off-times too.

Know When to Let Go and When to Walk Away: If you have someone who is toxic or you feel toxic around them, walk way. There is nothing wrong with letting go of someone who does not want the best for you. 

Autism and routines -written by anonymous

While all children benefit from routine in their day to day lives, children with autism thrive on it! Routines will provide predictability and relieve much anxiety and uncertainty about what is happening around them. A routine will allow your child to have greater control over their environment.

Provide your child with schedules and timers so that they can see clearly what is happening and when. An egg timer works well as a visual cue for children with autism – or alternatively, put markings on the wall clock to show the times for different parts of the daily routine. Alarm clocks and oven timers can also be used as part of a routine to remind a child that it is time to change tasks, get ready for bed, or leave for school. Establish daily routines as early as possible and stick to them as best you can.
Having said that, change is inevitable in life, and with change comes disruptions to routines which can be a potential nightmare for a child with autism.  There are many strategies that can be used to help a child with autism work through day to day change. Picture cards and visual schedules are fabulous and are a strategy that we use regularly in our home. The picture cards show images and photos of the many things that we do during the day, places we visit, and tasks that need to be completed. At the beginning of a day, we select the cards that represent what will be happening for that day. We stick the cards up on a velcro strip, and as we move through the day we remove each card and ‘post’ it in a ‘completed’ box as we finish with a task or scenario. The benefit of the cards is that the child is able to see the full day’s ‘story’ and can predict what will happen next. We also use picture cards for getting ready for kindergarten, getting ready for dinner, or getting ready for bed – the cards outline the tasks that need to be completed, one after the other.
Again, the best made plans can go out the window when an unexpected visitor knocks on the door, or we run out of milk and need to make a quick trip to the store. We have a ‘?’ or ‘what if’ card that we use for these times. It is a card that can be thrown into the mix at any time, and the child understands that this card can means change. To begin with the ‘?’ card is unpredictable, and a lot of time and patience is required with its use. However, the ‘?’ card used consistently when a change arises will eventually give the child a sense of predictability.  The child begins to associate it with change and begins to realize what sort of things to expect from this and is better able to cope.
Remember that children with Autism love routine. When changes to your child’s routine need to occur, make sure you allow them plenty of time to adjust to the change, use visual cues when you can, and provide plenty of support to help them through it. The result will be a more relaxed child and a less stressed parent!